Monday, January 15, 2007

64th annual Golden Globe Awards

8:00 p.m., Another forgettable NBC intro, to the tune of “One Night Only” (“Dreamgirls,” get it?) for your basic celebrity red carpet waving montage.

8:02 p.m., George Clooney is out front first to present. He bobs his head to the music, as if to signal it’s OK to let loose. Clooney, presenting the Best Supporting Actress movie award, also gets in the first insider joke by announcing that Leonardo DiCaprio won the category. But it’s time to cue the “Dreamgirls” music again, as Jennifer Hudson wins. Take that, Simon Cowell!
“I have always dreamed, but never ever this big,” Hudson said, adding later: “You don’t know how much this does for my confidence.” The audience laughs. Only she didn’t mean it as a joke. She figured it out.

8:05 p.m., Justin Timberlake is out to present best song in a motion picture. Bryan Adams is up for this? Against Prince, Seal and Sheryl Crow? JT makes a Leo crack, too, but it’s Prince who wins for real. A lot of awkward camera movements follow, as no one knows where the Purpled One is. JT slouches to “accept this award on his behalf” and gets the laugh he didn’t get for trying to horn in on Clooney’s joke.

8:11 p.m., How awkward to see Jack Nicholson hitting on, er, I mean waving at his daughter, this year’s Miss Golden Globes!

8:12 p.m., Jeremy Irons wins the best TV supporting actor category for an HBO movie and gives little Nicholson a peck on the cheek – that cheeky devil!

8:15 p.m., Tina Fey and David Spade present “least humorous” (oh, drama) TV actress. Kyra Sedgwick wins for “The Closer,” which is odd, since her character probably has the funniest of the nominated roles here. I saw her in the Ritz-Carlton a couple of months ago. That was funny/odd, too, because she came out of the elevator and walked right past me as I was waiting to interview someone else. She looked great. Just saying.

8:18 p.m., Nancy O’Dell says blah blah…Maria Menounos! Maria talks to Kyra some more for her instant reaction, killing time leading into the first commercial break.

8:28 p.m., Wait. Did the old guy just say that Clint Eastwood, Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep already have won, even though their categories haven’t come up yet???? Hmmm. This could be weird. Or did the guy onstage merely say that Eastwood, Nicholson and Streep have won many times before? Was I supposed to pay attention to this?

8:28 p.m., Jessica Biel and Sean Combs talk up the supporting actress, TV edition. Change the subject. That’s a good idea. Emily Blunt wins. Once again, the regular primetime TV actors lose out to a cable/miniseries/movie actor. For Blunt, however, this sure makes up for losing in the movie category 26 minutes earlier!

8:31 p.m., The cast of “Heroes” is onstage together “in their regular time slot” to take care of best actor, TV drama. Tough competition here. Hugh Laurie wins for “House.” “I am speechless! I am literally without a speech!” But away he goes with a witty little bit.

8:42 p.m., Steve Carell says he’s introducing a new category? Oh. Best animated movie. And “Cars” wins? Yawn.

8:46 p.m., Movie actress, comedy or musical. It should be Meryl Streep, don’t you think? Of course it is. “I think I’ve worked with everybody in the room,” Streep joked. She pulls out a list. “Oh shut up. It’s not that long.” And she’s quite funny. And at the end, she puts in a word for the arthouse movies that don’t get screened because every cinema is showing “The Devil Wears Prada.” That should make my former colleague, Jim Verniere, happy. He has made getting more arthouse screens in Boston his big issue.

8:56 p.m., Our look at Borat!

8:56 p.m., Our look at Salma Hayek!!! Yummy. Best miniseries or TV movie. As if you saw any of these. Let’s look again at Salma Hayek. She says “Elizabeth I” won. It was on HBO. So it wasn’t TV.

9 p.m., Rachel Weisz here to present movie supporting actor. Hey, I do see Prince! He’s here, after all! Sitting behind Eddie Murphy. Who wins it. This is a “Dreamgirls” night, it looks like. Will he say something about James Brown? Um, no. Oh well.

9:07 p.m. to 9:22 p.m., I’m sorry. This is the bathroom break portion of the show. They didn’t announce it as such, but it’s turning out that way, until Alec Baldwin wins for TV comedy actor for his always-funny performances on “30 Rock.” Nice going.

9:30 p.m., TV comedy series: “Ugly Betty?” Another blow for the sitcom format. Then again, another look at Salma Hayek!

9:36 p.m., Foreign language film, otherwise known as the category that includes Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood. Clint wins. So maybe the old guy really did tip the Globes’ hand? No, Jack didn’t win. “Letters from Iwo Jima.” Clint: “You don’t know what this does to my confidence.” Nice callback.

9:46 p.m., Hugh Grant asks Prince to stand up and take a bow for his earlier win, since he was stuck in traffic (apparently, at least that’s what Grant said in vouching for him). Grant and Drew Barrymore present best movie score for “The Painted Veil.”

9:49 p.m., Only one sitcom actress represented in the TV comedy category. But neither old nor new Christine can beat out Ugly Betty, Miss America Ferrara. Maybe the foreign press corps are getting in any kind of foreign props they can? It is a good show. But still. She gives a heartfelt speech.

9:58 p.m., Tom Hanks calls out the HFPA as cuckoo, crazy wacky nuts, citing 1962 award for Warren Beatty as most promising newcomer. Then Hanks says “what balls this man has.” “And by balls, I mean artistic vision.” It’s the tribute award. Beatty calls out both Eastwood and Nicholson for showing him up by continuing to produce great work. “I asked Arnold to be a Democrat. He did what I said.” That got laughs and applause.

10:21 p.m., Dustin Hoffman came out and noted that “Ishtar” was on for “oh point five seconds.” He’s here to introduce clips for “Little Miss Sunshine.”

10:24 p.m., Steven Spielberg is out for best director, and Marty gets his due for “The Departed.” “Oh, my, a heckuva time,” Marty says as he notes he’s talking faster than normal, so who knows exactly what he’s saying. But the Boston media should get a happy headline, right?

10:28 p.m., Reese Witherspoon is out with best movie actor in the comedy/music group. Sacha Baron Cohen wins for Borat. How will he play it? “This movie was a life-changing experience.” He talks about the darkest ugliest side of America, otherwise known as “the anus and testicles of my co-star.” Baron Cohen then goes into even more details about getting sat on by his naked co-star, all the while thinking he better win an award for it. So he played it straight and still was uproarious. A nod to Oscar voters? No matter. He has his Golden Globe.

10:36 p.m., Oh, geez. Dane Cook is onstage.

10:37 p.m., J. Lo is here for the funny/musical movie presentation. “Dreamgirls.” No surprise after both Hudson and Murphy won their awards, really.

10:43 p.m., TV drama: “Grey’s Anatomy.” Now I need to call Javi. It’s about to be his birthday. And he told me once that he went to film school with the show’s creator.

10:45 p.m., Movie drama actress: The buzz was on Dame Helen Mirren. The buzz was right. That’s two wins tonight for Mirren. She won tonight for playing both QEI and QEII. How about them apples?

10:52 p.m., Movie drama actor: Two Leos cannot beat a Forest, and Forest Whitaker, who won most previous critics awards for his work in “The Last King of Scotland,” arrives to accept his award and really is taken aback by the moment. This is what you call speechless, Mr. Laurie.

11:00 p.m., Gov. Ahnold walks out on crutches for the final award, best movie drama. C’mon…Oh. “Babel.” Cue the music. We’re running late. Oh, Ahnold. Did you have to end with a “We’ll be back!”?

Too late. See you at the next awards show.